I always set my own goal too high and tries very hard to achieve my own perfection. This is very tiring. I need to learn to let go and let things happen. "<em>Claudia ah Claudia! Why are you such a 'kan cheong' person? Relax lah!</em>"

This observation of mine started when I started my first year in Polytechnic. There were many projects and presentations to do for almost every subjects. I had the same group working together for most of the projects. At the beginning, they were rather upset with the way I pushes for work to be done even though the dateline was still far away. Once someone from another team I’m in had a big fight with me. She couldn’t take my working habit and threatened to quit the group.

After the initial uproar from my teams, they later realised that I meant no harm and was in fact their push to get tasks done. As we corporate in more and more projects, they started to get used to my pushing, and we usually get work done pretty quickly and effectively. Once I tried sitting back to observe, the team got messed up. They didn’t know what to do. There wasn’t anyone in the team who’s pushing for things and delegating work. Everyone laid back and the task was left till the very last minute. Ever since, the team understood me even more. I may be the ‘kan cheong’ (anxious) group leader, but we get things organised and done more effectively.

When I entered the workforce, I still did things the way I did. But I ended up hitting too many stones and rocks on the way. Soon I learned to relax about things and take things more easily. But the little voice inside my heart is always trying to push me. Guess I just don’t want that last minute panic attack. I always set my own goal too high and tries all my best to achieve things to my own perfection. This is very tiring. I need to learn to let go and let things happen.

I am still in the transitional period. But have made up my mind to concentrate on the things I am most interested in. I need to get past “The Dip” and aim to be ‘The Best’ in what I want to do. And in order to be the best, I need to take risk and break through storms. (HAHA! Sound so serious leh!)

I want to be responsible in the groups I’m in. I want these groups to do well. Sometimes I tried to push the groups to react to situations, but I’m afraid if I do it too often, things might just go too wrong. All I want is these groups to have a little more urgency. But its not going to be easy. But… I am just not the kind of person to sit and wait for things to happen. Course I know nothing will happen if no one is there to push it. A box will always be stationary if no one touches it. So how? What should I do?

Claudia ah Claudia! Why are you such a ‘kan cheong’ person? Relax lah!